May 29, 2014

The time has come

I have been putting it off and u think I owed up to it no matter what happens next.

I have a job. I've been working for $9.50 an hour since the 9th of May. My official title is estimator and I work for SH5 Construction Corp.

It's a small and family run company.

The reason why I have such misgivings is that I don't know how good of a job I can do over all.

I didn't even expect to get the job, while only half hoping they liked me enough to hire me.

You are reading this and saying that I've at this for almost a month now. I should know how well I fit in and have a better clue if I can do it or not, and to a point I do. I've sent out a few bids as subs, and I like those. It's the jobs as GC that still scare me. And one is due tomorrow.

I feel like I have so much to do and not enough time.

But I known that when someone takes over for someone who has been doing it for a while and just about everything isn't on paper but in their head it would be a while before the new person feel like they have a grip on things. I can give you that.

But I haven't felt this amount of responsibly or fear over it in a long time. It has been so long that I forgot I could feel like this. I was compleatly sick over it this weekend. I couldn't really eat, and it was just a feeling of terror that I couldn't. Shake for more than a few mins.

Yes, I am starting to like it there, and I'm happy to be a working person again, even if my body is still fighting my new sleeping schedule.

I want to sleep, but I have to get home.


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