December 27, 2016

People keep dying and bad news doesn't take a day off...


George Michales died Christmas night. Reminded me that mom died a year ago to the day. I'm not as bummed about it as you might think. It's just that so many people have died recently/this year, then I heard that my sister most likely will get evicted because, for whatever reason, she didn't try to take possession of mom's apt until like a month ago and hasn't paid rent since the middle of the year, so they, the people that own the building, sent a $6,000 bill to my sister here, since she use to guaranty when mom fell behind a month or two.

Why in god's name did they let it slide for 6 months when they were on mom's case after 2 months never mind 3 when they use to ignore the check for month's 2 and 3 when 2 showed up a little late?

Well, at least she's be homeless with family. Outside of who is staying with her in the apt, another family member just lost his place too due to the same reason. The sister I live with can't believe he lost the apt. It was his mother's before he got it. She died 3ish, maybe 4 by now, years ago. She lived there for over 30 years. In fact, my sister thought that our aunt had bought her apt years ago since she thought the building was co-op now. It turned out not to be so. We don't know what his excuse is or the situation around that for him, but we can guess for the other sister.

Before you get totally down, Christmas wasn't a complete wash. I told you how I sold one fractal print to the lady upstairs right? Well, she sent down her daughter Christmas Eve with a 12x18 frame and asked if I had anything to fit it. I went through all that I thought I had and sent the girl back up without finding anything. Everything was just a little bigger. I then found one tube that had one fractal in it and it was 2 inches smaller on the long side. So I texted her and told her that I found something. With my sister, Ms. Pricesion's help, I centered it in the frame and sent it back up. I told her to tell her mom that it wasn't free. I wasn't going to charge much. $15 maybe. Anyway, she had already sent me a Christmas gift, if you overlook the fact that other than the pretzels, everything had milk and chocolate in or on it. :) Thanks to her I almost finished my first box of lactose pills.

Anyway, I had felt bad, when I first got it, that I didn't have a gift for her. I had a gift for no one. I have only given maybe 2 Christmas gifts in my life, and I can only remember one of them. Back when I was 17 or 18 and babysitting for my fav Aunt. I used some of my money to get my mom a stand mixer. It wasn't anything great, but I think it was the first time I bought something, with my own money, for someone else, for Christmas.

Now that I think about it, I may have gotten a few things for my niece when she was younger. The one that grew up with me and came with us from St.Kitts. I'm pretty sure I said her name before, but I'm trying hard not say people names on here anymore for some reason.

Anyway, I will be seeing said child tomorrow. She's coming over for a day or two. At first, I wanted her to come over for Tuesday so we could go movies, but then I found out that I would have the girl from upstairs for the week since school is now out.

Ok, back to fractals. yeah, there is more there. So after the girl left, with the message for her mom, that it wasn't free, which I realize now was a bit harsh maybe, I texted her that it was a gift and that to forget about the message about it being not free. She laughed and thanked me.

Then I was up late, like ways, and was asleep when my brother called me and then the sister shows up asking to use our oven to bake some big piece of meat. At first, I thought it was ox tail, but it turned out to be ham. I happened to still be on the phone with my brother who called up to see how things were. He turned out to have a cold. I thought it was odd since I was normally the one sick somehow.

So, I had him on hold while I was doing this with the girl. Turning on the oven and setting the timer and then when I thought she was leaving, she asked to see my prints. I asked her now? Christmas Day? She said yes. So I told my brother that I had to go and we went through what I had and she ended up picking two fractals.

This time I did compare prices with what I told her and what the price was on DA. I didn't gain a profit, just because they are our neighbours and friends and the first ones to buy anything from me. It's odd. My family in Canada didn't get my fractals at all, but they said I was pretty good with my photos. They won't give me one of their cams that they aren't really using, but they think that my photos are good enough to sell. And it's not that I hadn't hinted that I would love to get one of their far more professional cams considering I have a pocket point and shoot thing.

I know, I was suppose to get one with the money from mom's pension, but after helping my sister pay back who we borrowed money from to bury mom and then pay for part of her trip to a convention in Vagas, I didn't have the money anymore. I'll come back and gripe about that later I'm sure.

Currently, I'm still reading the collection of John Carter of Mars books. There are seven and I'm to 4 now. This man went through a heck of a lot in the third book, not to mention the first two and now it seems to be his kid's turn. Maybe I'm slow. Or maybe the books are long. Or it's a mix of both. I think I hit my stride in the third book, but when I realized that the 4th was about his kid I kinda slowed down for a bit, but they are having almost the same, but new issues that he did. And I mean general issues. He, the author, has managed to make new situations throughout the books.

Now, I don't remember what prompted me to get the collection, but overall I'm glad I did. I keep forgetting how dated some things may seem/be when it's being held up as such a great story. At the start of the first book I thought that the movie was keeping kind close to the source, then I read bits that I wish I had seen and realized how they just about invented other bits in the movie as the story continued. For that I'm disappointed. I was also left wondering how they even planned to continue the movie considering how they ended the first one.

Granted, the immediate continuation where the nephew gets the letter is safe, but I'm talking about what happens on Mars when he gets back. I heard that there was going to be a second movie, but it was dropped because not enough people saw the first one to cover the cost of making it.

In the defense of the movie making people, a stand I don't take too often, if they had stayed closer to the book, the rating would have to be changed because it would have been a darker movie than what you saw. Which I don't mind. I don't think that all movies should be made into mass audience pieces because they want as much money as humanly possible. But considering how much they spent on making it, they may have thought it was the only way to get back that money.

Other than the rampant death and gore they omitted, the lady in distress theme that ran the length of three books, they may have thought was too outdated to be believed never mind watched.

Actually, I'm going to stop there. I think I'll give this its own post since I have once again strayed from the fractals and the lady from upstairs.

Long story short, if that is possible for me, she got two fractal prints. I got more money back into my pocket, and my tally has now risen to 3 for the number of works sold. :)

They sent down some of their food for me to eat because I passed out just as she came down the last, and third time to check on the meat. Around that time my sister came back home. She went to deliver the cake to an old cousin of ours. She had given it to out sister to take to her since they both lived in Brooklyn, but come Christmas, they still had it. so she went all the way over there to deliver it herself to find out that our cousin was out visiting one of her friends. So she found the cake hanging from her doorknob when she got home.

Once again I learned that upstairs doesn't know how to make anything without pepper in it. And I'm not talking black pepper. I'm talking hot sauce. Scotch bonnet peppers. But it was good, not overly hot this time. The spread was nothing much. Rice and peas. Stewed ox tail. Fried chicken. Potato salad and a mix leafy salad that I'm slowly eating. :) If I had done it right, I would have eaten it with the rice since it had peppery gravy on it. Oh well.

Now come Sunday night and my sister is baking again. Cheese Cakes and Tiramisus. I, of course, had to help since I was once again up reading, working a little on my story and not falling asleep until sunrise. Again. So we spent time together and it didn't take that long. We were only up late because she took so long to get started. In fact, she boiled me out of bed.

There I was, sleeping away under my nice warm comforter and bit by bit I'm starting to over heat. I didn't turn the heat on. I didn't have to, but someone did. When I got up to complain, she said that I could turn it off now. She was cold earlier. I told her she did it just to get me up and help her bake. She's done it before. Not bake until I was there to help her that is. We watched Superman while we were making the tiramisus, then I made her watch Superman v Batman when we were done so she could stop saying that Batman killed Superman.

Then I left her around 2am to finish rendering out some large fractals for prints on DA and where ever else they may end up.

I'm at it again today and that was my Christmas. How was yours?

December 22, 2016

December 20, 2016


Not much going on on my end.

I tried to make Johny Cakes aka fried 'Jamaican' dumplings. I think I didn't let the dough rest and that I used the wrong flour. 

So before I wasted all the dough that way, I rolled up some of it into small balls and tossed them into the chicken soup. 

The mom for the girl took forever to get home, kinda, Friday. I don't really mind that she was that late outside of the fact that she didn't tell me she was going to be so late. 

We got snow. I think it was Friday night Saturday morning. It looked good before the cars started to leave tire tracks in it. Saturday afternoon or night it got warm enough that it rained so just about none of it is left now.

My sister got me one of those copper frying pans. So far so good, but I think it was smaller than what she was expecting, and it a little smaller than the size I normally use, but I'm getting used to it. I used it Saturday and Sunday for dinner.

The girl's mother talked about buying one of my photos/fractals for someone and she was suppose to come look at them on the computer last week, but then called up a few days ago asking about them again like shipping should have it on our doorstep before christmas. It was the 15th or 16th then. She didn't show up to look at anything until the 18th. Clearly, this woman believes in miracles.

So without my glasses, I tried showing her a few things on the computer and explaining that there would be 2-4 days of a quality check for anything she got from DA unless she got one that I bought when I thought I would be doing this gallery thing. 

Then we saw prices like this for the ones that came with a frame. She wanted a frame too. 

The crossed out price is the base price plus the what I would be paid. The bold price is just the base price. So I'm not getting rich unless I get like 10 sold each day. And that's not even rich. That's ok. 

Anyway, she wasn't paying that or close to it, so she asked about the prints that I bought. Because she has this thing of having it ready by Christmas and I already had some on me that I weren't using. She ended up picking the one that her sister liked, and since I knew she didn't want to pay much and more than likely won't pay the base price I just about gave it to her for $30. And that is how I made my first sale. 

So sad. But you have to start somewhere. 

Then she told me that she would have to drop the girl off early in the morning because her sister wasn't going to be home. So I stayed up the night waiting for her to show up at 7:25 am. Or just about that. Then we went downstairs around 7:40 to wait for the school bus with the temp being around 23 degrees. 

I hate winter. I don't mind seeing the snow, but I despise the cold. Since sitting in the closed in porch was just as bad as being outside on the street, I took down the trash that I should have taken out yesterday, and brought the trash can back into the yard from the curb. They picked up the trash that morning around 4:30 am, along with the paper recycling. 

I then came back in once she was picked up about 10 mins later and mostly stayed asleep until 3pm.

Oh, I forgot something. The cakes. You already saw the pic below. 

For some reason, my sister felt like making cakes for a whole bunch of people this year. She's shipping one to my brother and his family at Fort Drum in upstate NY. And one is going to our half sister in Canada. The rest are local, but she's handing them off to other people to deliver. Those are the first 8. I think it was eight. We just made 4 more tonight and she says she still has about 20 more to make. 

Who are all those going to, outside of her coworkers? I don't know. Since I'm helping, I'll find out. Most will be done tomorrow. We ran out of supplies tonight or it would have been another double batch at least. Personally, I don't think she has enough soaking fruit to make all that she said she is going to do.

I made my quick chili tonight and I put it with baked steak fries. It came out quite well. Even with the chili tasting of ginger and garlic with sesame seeds. πŸ˜† I used an Asian seasoning mix for the meat and veggies. πŸ˜‹ I packed some of it with some bread slices and cheese slices, without fries, for my sister to have as lunch tomorrow. 

So, back to photos and frames. After the girl's mother asked about where to get it framed, she is hung up on getting it framed, that I looked up how much it would be to really get the size she got framed. Granted, it all depends on the look you are going for and such. 

And it seems that my taste is pricey. πŸ˜† When I found a frame that I like and what she could afford considering the print she got was 20x30 inches, it was over at a place called 'Art to Frame' and it was just shy of $30. For my taste. For just a good dark frame that fits that size, I saw one for just under $20. I went back to check just now. 😊

I guess I could use that one too. If I priced it right, I wouldn't care if they got their own frame for it and they wouldn't think twice about getting a new frame if they really didn't like the one it was in. Ok, there's something. 

Oh, I read down the site a bit more and saw that they are coming out of Brooklyn. How cool. Oh, and it comes with hanging implements and a 'glass' of some kind to protect what you are framing. You get three options. I'll have to tell the mother about this. 

Oh, one of my aunts called last night. Lucky me I just "sold" something and could pass that on to keep from feeling like a failure. Yeah for timing. 😏

I'm out. I'm still reading John Carter Of Mars. 

December 19, 2016

What the Christmas season looks like for me.

Fruit cake, or black cake, or Christmas cake since we only bake it around this time and try to soak the fruit bits for a whole year.

Yep, soaked in rum or .. Something else.

Sent from my Windows Phone

December 12, 2016

An there is dinner.

Told you I could do it. I was halfway done by the time my sister came home. But she didn't get to eat at work so she brought her lunch home and is eating that now

I may have started late, but everything worked out. I even got to make some Kool-Aid.πŸ˜ƒ


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It was someone's birthday today so my sister started this cake last night.

I woke up before 8 due to a nightmare I was having and stuck around to keep her from going crazy over the fact she didn't have enough butter cream to cover the cake.

I then helped with the fondant circles and arranging the gumpaste balls covered in fondant that we did last night.

I think it looks good.

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Adventures at the laundromat

I took my sweet ass time leaving the house today. I had no energy at all. It took effort to pour a bowl of cold cereal.

As I was packing things the sun was almost done setting. I saw darkness when I walked pass my window to get dressed which just made it feel later than it was. But I was going to leave before 5:15.

Which is why when I went to get a packet of ground beef out of the freezer, I left it when I realized that it was behind things. I've cooked it from a frozen state before and I can do it again.

I had to lift up the cart and clothes and slowly walked down the staircase that I really don't like to make it out of the house. Once I was outside I pushed myself up the hill. My poor heart.

It hurt going up, but once I was on level ground I think I recovered faster than I did the last time. Maybe.

Like I expected, the place was empty. Very few people are here on Mondays. Besides finding my hand almost frozen to the handle of the cart, everything went well until I tried to use this card the machines require.

First my card wouldn't work. I tried like six times. I got nothing but an error message on the read out screen. Then I tried to get a new card and the machine won't take my money. First time ever. Well maybe not ever. But you know what I mean.

So after a while of trying, with the attendant, I just gave her the money and she used her card to start my machine. Then when I was writing this the first time, I realized that I had missed the wash cycle to put in the Clorox 2 and had to start this post all back over again after I got some water to wash the Clorox 2 down into the machine.

Now they are ready for the dryers. And while they are in there I'm going to the store to get some corn meal and potatoes.

Later. Also. I wrote all this without my glasses. So I'll fix it later tonight.

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... Just fixed it. :)

December 10, 2016


I know I forgot to post on Thursday and Friday just past me by. I think I was still recovering from Thursday.

So Thursday I got three sockets changed out. One was worst than the rest when he opened it up, and that was the one that lead the way to getting the other three changed in the first place because it cracked on me.

My sister's ceiling got fixed too. They scraped off the peeling, dried, cracked plaster and paint and patched it with new plaster and painted over that once it was finished drying. They helped the process along by using a heat gun.

I was told they were going to be there early morning, but I didn't see them until after 2 pm.

I was also asked to prep for my sister so she could make a carrot cake. I grated the carrots for her. Took out her frozen buttercream frosting and I watched my light go out in my room when I was done.

There was also the burning of the circular saw that set off the smoke detector while I was in the kitchen grating.

Then when my sister got home, the little girl had already left and she kept pulling me into helping her make the cakes. Yep. Cakes. She was now doing two. I got away without doing much, but when the Egg Nog Cheese Cakes cooled I had to put it in the fridge. A big one and four small ones. The same for the carrot cake. One big one and four small ones. Those could stay out until she took them took work.

But before that, when my sister was still awake and waiting for them to finish baking, she brought up that she forgot to tell our landlord that we might need to have the hand railings taken down so the fridge would fit.

So much as gone wrong with this fridge.

We first went to BestBuy to have a look at it, then we went to P.C. Richards to see if they could do one better. We walked along a highway because we could see the sign from BestBuy. That was a few weeks back. After we got an Uber home that night, she went online. She really wanted to buy the fridge and freezer that day.

After she paid for everything, she found out her card declined everything because it was unusual for her to spend so much money at once. Well yeah. How often do people buy new fridges and freezers?

So the next day she is trying to get everything straightened out. That took a few hours and the reordering of things. So, fast forward to Friday 3am and I'm looking first at the appointment notice from BestBuy telling me that we have an appointment for delivery for between 8am and 12 noon. Then I get a new e-mail. "Your purchase has been canceled" What?! Ok... I check the ticket number to make sure it's the same one and it is, so ... What do I do? I print both out, place them on her bed for her to see in the morning. Put up the cakes, and came back to my computer to play two games on my computer before going to bed around maybe 5 am.

Now it's 7:55am, the sun is up and my sister is waking me up. At first, I thought it was because of the fridge and it kinda was. They were going to be here in minutes. I didn't understand. I then said that maybe the system glitched and it meant to say that the order was processed since it was being delivered that day.

So now I'm left unloading the fridge since my sister had to take a bath to get ready for work. I got everything out by the time we heard them arrive.

There was a little talking here, a little talking there. A few doors came off, my sister helped to move the tv and cable box to my room, which I put back on my own in the end, and $20 later there was a new freezerless fridge in my kitchen and the old fridge was downstairs on the porch where the landlord wanted it. Why? don't know. Maybe he's selling it for scrap.

My sister was gushing over the freezer when it arrived, but I was more impressed with the fridge as I now put stuff back and tossed stuff out.

Once I cleaned up the puddle that showed up while the old fridge was sitting in the living room, I was back in bed until 3:30 when I got up to wait for the girl to come home from school.

Thursday night was leftovers and I made some newly cooked chicken and veggies. Mostly radishes. That is what I packed up for my sister to take to work since she ate the lunch I gave for her late that day. I had the last of the pasta with a hot dog since I ate before the chicken was cooked.

Tonight was even simpler. Back to the hot dogs again and I had it on an onion bagel with pickled red cabbage and ketchup. She had a hot dog too and bread, but I don't know what she had on it. We split up since she was baking again and I didn't want to help again.

I think you have now been caught up. 😊


December 08, 2016

It has to grow on me

The first handful doesn't taste that great or even close to what you expected, but as you eat more, it's not as bad as you first thought it was.


It's like how the wilderness isn't so wild once you aren't the first heading out there.


Even now. I remember how well it started to taste good, so when I get some more hours later, because I just have to eat popcorn, I'm asking myself why I thought this tasted good, but by my second handful, I start to find reasons again. 😊


My love hate relationship with Pumpkin Spice Popcorn continues. 😊


Sent from Mail for Windows 10


December 07, 2016

Guess what I have done?

I ordered 3 gallons of a popcorn flavor that I've never had and I don't like it.

I have never not liked a favor that I've ordered so I can't say this happened before so I'm getting a small amount first.

So it will either go with my sister to the office or I'm going to make brittle with this stuff.

So disappointed.

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December 06, 2016

Finally. Dinner.

I cleaned two packs of chicken, so I won't have to do it again tomorrow,  after I cleaned the kitchen. I also ended up going easy on myself  as to what I was going to roast. I did only the squash and it's covered in curry powder. Along with salt, spray Pam. There might be some powered garlic on them too.

I pan seared the chicken before taking them out and slightly sautΓ©ing some frozen peppers and onions in the coconut oil. Then I put the chicken back in, put on the cover and parked it in the oven at 450 until I was sure the meat was cooked completely through.

The rice is brown with kale, spinach and broccoli that were added near the end to steam.

Bye, bye. 😊

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I'll Make This Quick


It seems yesterday was the worst of my condition and the start of the end. I had a good sleep, even if it was from sunrise until 3:15 pm. Just 7 hours.

I woke up feeling pretty good and when I picked up the girl, I didn't have to keep her because her Aunt was home, but I also found out that she doesn't have school tomorrow.

It was around 45 degrees out, so I didn't walk out to the bus driver to find out why. Not that it really matters. Knowing why she's home, won't change that is.

He aunt called down and asked for some kidney beans and said that she wants to come down and look at my fractals. I've been waiting for her to come look at them for honestly months now. But it seems she wants them for gifts so now she's coming down. That made me clean up my room a bit. I still have a questionable corner, but on the whole, my desk and the area around it is good and Fribreezed. :)

I was going to start cooking at 6, but since I had to clean up my room, I'm going to start now. Not as early as I would have liked, but it should be too bad. I had the chicken out defrosting since morning. :)

What's for dinner? I'm thinking roasted veggies by way of broccoli, radishes, and bristle sprouts. And perhaps the squash sitting on the table before I find out it went bad later. The chicken is going to be baked too and I think rice is safe bet.

Ok. I'm out.

Later.  :)

December 05, 2016


Most of today I felt like a swirling mass of chemicals and pain that just made me sleep.


Yet, I was up at 7:15 to get Khloe and take her down to wait for her bus at 7:50 which didn't show up until 8:20. I was cold and nodding off most of the time. Khloe just slept in the chair until they showed up.

Then I dragged my body that felt like it should melting down into the toilet, and waited in the cold stairwell for her to come home for almost an hour. I was sitting on the step breathing through pain when her mother called to let me know that Khloe was still at the school at 3:50. I had already been waiting 30 mins at this point.

She was going to call the bus people and have them know that they school was closing and they had to go pick up her daughter now.

I somehow talked myself into staying there another 20 or mins until the bus brought her home. I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out, Khloe was already asleep for her nap.

I felt wretched. I wanted to and should have eaten something but at the same time I didn't want any food at all and my body, I'm sure, was even in more pain because of it.

I was able to somehow get her to do her homework and start some other homework that she didn't do at all. I think it might have been some part of the set that she just left at school so she wouldn't have to do it. She mostly shut herself down once I told her she was going this. She played, she did anything but pay attention to what she was suppose to do.

She brought me the paper and the very first mark she made was wrong. I then just jumped down to the first part of all of them, and they were all the same, and they were wrong.

So when her mom came, I told her that I just remembered telling Khloe that I won't let her use my pencils anymore. These aren't normal pencils. I paid a few dollars for each one. I have drafting pencils. They aren't meant to be used by a 7-year-old to do their homework that they aren't any way invested in. And I know. What 7 year old is invested in their homework? But she seems to invent ways of showing she doesn't want to try.

I won't bail her out anymore. If she doesn't have a pencil when she gets home, she will do her homework when her mom get's home.

A few mins later my sister came home and she brought chicken home. I put some fries in the oven and we stood and watched "Hero's of Tomorrow" as we ate. The fries took a while to crisp up, so when they were done, I came in here and my sister tried, once more, to watch a show on Netflix.

And now you have caught up... kinda...

I just remembered something. But to see that little bit of something. Click on the slideshow of my work on the side. Then go to view the blue spiral fractal. It has more to do with that site, so to read it go there.



Sunday my sister and I went to the movies, before and after we went to ShopRite. :)

We went there to get something to eat at the movies, then we did a more proper shopping trip afterwards.

A number of things happened. First the good stuff. It was a great movie. I lived in a fractal movie for almost 2 hours. :) I'm talking about Dr. Strange. :)

It's a great, movie. I didn't know much about Dr. Strange, and that might be why I'm not picking anything apart like I did for Superman vs. Batman, but I know I'm not the only one that thinks it's great. I repeat. It's a great movie and a must see. Now to get around to watching Civil War. I know. I jumped a movie.

So, before the movie, I met my sister at the store. I took my Bluetooth earbuds with me just to get some use out of them after having them charge for like 4 days. I plugged them in and just left them there. So I turned them off and draped them over my neck as I went into the supermarket. We got a sandwich and apple cider along with a bag of chips and got two small soup bowls to use as cups.

Everything is fine, but the place is packed. We ask the cashier and she tells us that it was welfare check day. I did not know. Learned something new. The 4th of every month and the 5th I'm sure, will be the busiest days of the months for this supermarket.

So we got to catch the bus to Cityplex. It doesn't take long. We get off, we go in, I pay for the tickets, $22 odd, and head in. We are the only ones there, and I'm not surprised. But we are so early, 20 odd mins, that not even the pre-show things are being shown on the screen.

So I'm getting comfy, taking off my coat, trying to get and catch my earbuds, and they are nowhere to be found. They are gone. I dropped them somewhere and someone got an early Christmas gift. I managed to forget about them until we leave and head back to ShopRite.

We get there and I went towards Customer Service, but they were busy, so we walked around and got stuff instead. I was kind trying to keep the number of stuff low, but once she said that she was getting us and Uber to go home, we ended up getting some juice that was going to leave behind. I just didn't want to walk up or down a hill with milk and juice cutting into my hands. At the end of it all, I went back to Customer Service and asked, as kindly as I could, if anyone turned in a pair of Bluetooth earbuds. My answer was, of course, no.

My sister said that I would be more upset if I had paid for them, and she's right. She paid for them, and she thought there were broken and she took so long to send them back that she had already written them off when I got them to kinda work for me. It was better than nothing, but it had glitches and I think the battery life was kinda short.

I still wish I had them, but they are gone now and there isn't anything I can do about it. Now the other 'bad' thing. My sister first went to the store to get one thing in particular. And we didn't get it. We were in the store twice and we didn't remember until after we got home. We spent over $80 and we didn't get one thing that we needed.

So ... that was mostly my Sunday.

December 02, 2016

I Feel Like....

... I don't know what I feel like. Everything I pick doesn't feel right. I do know that I feel in pain and like I shouldn't wake up.

I was starting to feel out of sorts like three days ago, but yesterday I realized it was because of my cycle. As I've gotten older it's just gotten mentally worst. Before it was just pain that lasted a full week on heavy flow.

Now there are chemicals mixed in. I feel depressed. I feel like not doing anything. I still feel the pain but now I feel like I'm going to throw up sometimes. When I was younger I was able to eat and that would give my stomach pain something else to do and leave me alone for a little bit.

Now I mostly starve myself and that's no fun.

So while my body is dealing with all that, my sister asks me to roasts some veggies for the office. She's been doing this week long baking event for the office because a friend of her's is leaving. On Friday, today, they are having something of a potluck lunch. She made a carrot cake with buttercream icing. She wanted me to do the roasted veggies. Which was a mix of Honey Nut squash, Brussels sprouts, another squash of some kind, three different kinds of small potatoes and some radishes. It was something to get the cake into the fridge to keep until she left, so I work up at 4 am and did the veggies.

I never really remember everything I do each time I make something, so there was a little tinkering and I think thanks to my sister opening the open during the last 20 mins saved them for burning. I was awake and in my room waiting for the timer to go off, but I had turned up the heat but gave it too long. She opened the open to see how things were going when she work up and it set off the fire alarm.

Nothing was wrong. The alarm is just a little sensitive. :) I checked the oven anyway to make sure, and they were done. Almost a little too crispy, but done. I took out the two pans because I needed everything to lay flat in the pan to get crispy sides, Once again I think I should have put in the Brussel Sprouts in later than everything else.

Anyway, I put them in the pan she was taking them in, Left it open to cool, with the window now open and went back to bed once I told her.

I then just wouldn't get up until it was time for the girl to come home from school. I did get out bed before then to go to the bathroom. A number of times. But I just ended back up in bed and trying to sleep it all away.

Even when the girl got here. I made sure she had something to eat and she took her nap afterwards like normal. I was in bed before she was asleep. I felt a little bad sleeping while she was here, but I just could not lay down.

We then had a round with her homework. The English wasn't too bad. But we got into it with her math. There are times when I'm not sure if she is trying to appear dumb, care so little to remember to do it correctly, or wants to see how long it will take until I spank her. No, I don't believe that doesn't know she has to do, since we have been doing it for two days already and it was covered in school for at least two already also.

I finally got around to cooking dinner. I did something close to steamed fish, but not something Americans would recognize as steamed fish. I sauteed some onions and peppers, added broth, to get rid of it instead of using water. Seasoned it with adobe, then added some slices of frozen fish in the liquid and let it boil for about 10 - 15 mins. It should be called boiled fish I guess. I haven't done it in a while.

I was about to make some rice and kale to go with it, but it just seemed wrong. So I hunted down a recipe for dumplings. West Indan dumplings and it was when I forming them, my sister and the girl's mother came home.

I think I could cut down on the salt used, but other than that, dinner came out fine. My sister came home with a 'sandwich'. It was a fish sandwich from Micky D's. Along with an 'apple pie'. She got two, I think she thought of giving me one, but then realized the amount of butter in the crust and didn't bother.

So now done eating, my stomach aches and I think I'm going to crawl into bed because I'm also cold. I should go turn on the heat. My sister is already asleep.

I was going to say a little more, but it can keep.