December 05, 2016


Most of today I felt like a swirling mass of chemicals and pain that just made me sleep.


Yet, I was up at 7:15 to get Khloe and take her down to wait for her bus at 7:50 which didn't show up until 8:20. I was cold and nodding off most of the time. Khloe just slept in the chair until they showed up.

Then I dragged my body that felt like it should melting down into the toilet, and waited in the cold stairwell for her to come home for almost an hour. I was sitting on the step breathing through pain when her mother called to let me know that Khloe was still at the school at 3:50. I had already been waiting 30 mins at this point.

She was going to call the bus people and have them know that they school was closing and they had to go pick up her daughter now.

I somehow talked myself into staying there another 20 or mins until the bus brought her home. I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out, Khloe was already asleep for her nap.

I felt wretched. I wanted to and should have eaten something but at the same time I didn't want any food at all and my body, I'm sure, was even in more pain because of it.

I was able to somehow get her to do her homework and start some other homework that she didn't do at all. I think it might have been some part of the set that she just left at school so she wouldn't have to do it. She mostly shut herself down once I told her she was going this. She played, she did anything but pay attention to what she was suppose to do.

She brought me the paper and the very first mark she made was wrong. I then just jumped down to the first part of all of them, and they were all the same, and they were wrong.

So when her mom came, I told her that I just remembered telling Khloe that I won't let her use my pencils anymore. These aren't normal pencils. I paid a few dollars for each one. I have drafting pencils. They aren't meant to be used by a 7-year-old to do their homework that they aren't any way invested in. And I know. What 7 year old is invested in their homework? But she seems to invent ways of showing she doesn't want to try.

I won't bail her out anymore. If she doesn't have a pencil when she gets home, she will do her homework when her mom get's home.

A few mins later my sister came home and she brought chicken home. I put some fries in the oven and we stood and watched "Hero's of Tomorrow" as we ate. The fries took a while to crisp up, so when they were done, I came in here and my sister tried, once more, to watch a show on Netflix.

And now you have caught up... kinda...

I just remembered something. But to see that little bit of something. Click on the slideshow of my work on the side. Then go to view the blue spiral fractal. It has more to do with that site, so to read it go there.


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